Animals

I went to the theater and saw Horton Hears a Who! with my dad and stepmom. I sat in the middle next to my stepmom and my dad sat on the left side of the theater. My dad wanted to buy me some orange Jell-O after the movie. He and the young female cashier got mad when I told them I’m allergic to oranges and orange soda. Then my dad drove me to Missouri and dropped me off at an old house that was now being used as a restaurant. I had a job there as the new cook. Later that day (my birthday) I was sitting on a bench outside with some Missouri kids. The guy on the radio said it was his birthday. He also said Paul Simon died. The Missouri kids didn’t know who Paul Simon was so I started singing “Mrs. Robinson” but I messed up some of the lyrics.

Part One

I was in the mountains with my mom and we were looking for hot springs. We climbed down waterfalls and found some. My mom thought they were too sulfurous to soak in but I didn’t mind because I had nasal congestion. We saw an unfinished statue of a lynx and we also saw an actual lynx. Then we went to a playground where we were chased by a woolly mammoth and a giraffe.

Part Two

I was killing zombies with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert and we were trying to get to some important place. We came to a steep hill with hundreds of zombies on the other side. There were too many for us to fight off with guns so we used a remote control to bring Stephen’s car to our location. The plan was to get in the car and plow through the zombies, but the car could not climb the steep hill.

My mom got a new puppy. It was very small and it looked like a yellow frog with orange spots. It felt like a child’s beating heart when you held it in your hand. I was carrying it in the garden and it vanished, though I could still feel its heartbeat in my palm. It may have been using camouflage. I thought I dropped it so I looked everywhere for it. I never found the puppy but I did see a white tiger squeeze out from under the house. There was a second tiger in the hole but I had to use a bucket of catnip to lure that one out. I thought the first tiger was going to eat my cat but they seemed to get along pretty well. A diseased rat was the only other thing living under the house and it ran away. My mom told me to pour some hydrogen peroxide around the hole.

I went on a road trip to California with my mom, Savannah, and a dog. We decided to go to Panera for dinner. I ordered chocolate milk and rosemary bread at the counter. The man behind the counter put butter on my bread. There was a skinny old bald guy next to me who liked my yellow The Fall of Troy shirt. I felt like I had seen him somewhere before. He said The Fall of Troy was one of his favorite bands and he also said it was a shame that they broke up. My mom told me the man was an actor named Dave. He got in the car with us and my mom started driving away before Savannah and the dog had gotten in.

I was in a strange classroom. There a kid who was trying to convince the rest of the class that apostrophes should never be used. Then my high school French teacher gave her lecture. I went back to my dad’s house and there were three cats and no other people. The front yard looked like Boulder and the back yard looked like Fort Collins. I went for a walk in the Fort Collins part and sat down in some grass that wasn’t very green. I noticed a house for sale, the architecture seemed fairly modern. A light gray brick building fell on my dad’s house. I got back from my walk and went in the kitchen. There was a check from my dad on the counter written out to me for only $15. I went back outside to examine the damage in the front yard. Someone had set up rescue ladders near Rex’s house. His garage was on the second floor, the garage door was open and Rex was sitting in his RHD SUV. I moved the ladders out of the way and his car fell upside down onto my new luxury vehicle. I don’t think he survived.