Animals

Cassie and I were crawling through small tunnels in Ireland. The tunnels led to a very wet cave where a large snake lived. The snake talked and had a feminine voice. She invited us to dinner in her dimly lit cave. She served red wine, lettuce soup, and meat from human children. She used chopsticks and we used silverware. Then I went to a different part of the cave where I had a seated water gun fight with LeBron James and two other men. This event had a small audience.

My mom left me at my grandparents’ house with a seven-foot bear. She also left a noisy coyote pup in the closet. The bear got sick of the noise so he killed the coyote and left its bones on the floor. My mom returned and I sat on a loveseat with her. My grandparents sat on separate couches. We were listening to War From A Harlots Mouth but my grandpa turned it off after a few songs and switched to bagpipe music.

Chelsea Handler showed up at my house and we decided to go to the mall. Her dog sat in the front seat but she wanted to ride in the back of my Jeep with all the stuff. We had sushi and tequila at the mall. We also went to a grocery store there. Chelsea left and I met up with Teena who was wearing a wedding dress and a white knit hat. The sushi and tequila made me throw up in a trash can. I was very embarrassed. Teena didn’t mind and she told me about worse things she had done in front of her dance partner. We met Danny at a picnic table then Teena left with Michael, her fiancé. Their wedding was scheduled for Friday.

The world had been set up so that everyone could move freely between the real world and a virtual world. Avant-garde fashion was the norm in the virtual world. I was watching space cartoons in the real world with my mom at her house when meteors came raining down outside. The meteors were bright red so they must have been some kind of silicate. The meteor storm lasted days but the house suffered no damage. Grass and asphalt were burned away. Mist rings emanated from the meteorites before they were cool enough to touch. There were thousands of environmental refugees and hunting with night vision was a necessary part of survival. Some people wanted everyone to live in the virtual world all the time because conditions in the real world were so miserable. I decided to move to California since there had been no meteor storm in that state.

I was in a small mountain town called Davis, CO. I went into a toy store and had to wait my turn to play a new Kirby game. Teena watched me play the game, which reminded me of Galaga. After that, I visited Daniel. He showed me his Presidential $1 Coin collection, but someone had sold him counterfeits. A woman walked in with her daughter and pet caracal. She said she was a lawyer who worked upstairs. Her daughter was covered head to toe in sticky food. The four of us walked downtown and discovered a place with an indoor roller coaster.