Animals

I was carrying a dead possum and a shotgun through a snowy marsh. There were polar bears with cubs on the left and lions with cubs on the right. I didn’t shoot any because I thought it would provoke an attack. I made it past the bears and lions and found myself at the edge of a gorge. I thought I saw two fairies flying in the gorge but it turned out to be guys with jet packs. I took pictures of them but they didn’t come out very well because my camera was too slow. The guys followed me home where they were interviewed by Jay Leno. The guys were brothers and they both had prosthetic feet.

Part One

I was working at Wilbur’s, a liquor store, again. It was very stressful, mostly because of all the rowdy customers and their dogs. I was in the back room when The Photo Atlas came out of the beer cooler. I noticed their drummer, Joshua, getting along well with Teena. I talked to Stella about movies and vacations.

Part Two

I was in some kind of post-apocalyptic Arvada because the only other person around was my angry, muscular shadow aspect. We fought each other using balls of chi energy. I showered after the battle.

Teena and I were on a boat that was having an Oktoberfest. A enormous blind frog attacked the boat at night. The boat split in half and washed up on the shore. I found a flashlight and batteries in one of the rooms. I found Teena the next day somewhere in northwestern Colorado. We saw brown, red, and white sasquatches on our way to Steamboat Springs.

I was walking down a large flight of stairs at my high school. Shira was walking in front of me. An Italian version of “The Star‑Spangled Banner” came over the loudspeakers. The cafeteria was set up for everyone to play poker. I tried to leave because I didn’t want to play. I was placed in a holding cell with Lieutenant Jim Dangle. He was wearing a green uniform. Someone set us free even though he wasn’t supposed to. I went outside and saw a bear in the dark parking lot.

We arrived at the cabin around dinner time. I spotted small gravestones for two men named John Champion, but I don’t think they were related to me. We went inside and I saw a bear on the other side of the window. No one believed me until it came inside. The bear was the same height as our standard poodle. It chewed on the poodle’s snout until I distracted it by throwing my chicken sandwich outside. We sat at the table for dessert. We each had our own shortcake; none of us had toppings. I ate a quarter of mine. I continued to sit at the table while some guy drew a picture of me. He was very talented.