Fall Out Boy performed “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race” at Wilbur’s Total Beverage and they did it without breaking any wine bottles. Then I went to English class with Gabe. Then Shi and Scott went to the Coheed and Cambria concert separate from me and the girl from Sheep Death because we were singing “A Favor House Atlantic” on giant steps made of cardboard that were about to be recycled and I almost lost the tickets.

Part One

Scott, Krystal, and I had an apartment in Ingersoll Hall with room for drums. There was a shit-eating donkey in the front yard and a monkey who could walk through glass. The monkey came in the front window and turned into a black bird with pearly light blue under its wings and landed on my head a few times. Then it went out the back window and was attacked by my cat on the roof. It didn’t take much to kill the bird.

Part Two

Teena had a helicopter that flew like Boba Fett’s Slave I and made holes in skyscrapers when it flew through them. There were also giant robots.

Part One

Before they built Coors Field there was a white building called Coors Event Center which had a swimming pool where a bunch of anorexic girls worked and where a bunch of old guys hung out in the sauna.

Part Two

Lots of people were at band practice and we thought Seth was going to hurt someone or something by tying hot dog fireworks together.

Part Three

There was a fox running around distracting the neighborhood dogs and then the garbage truck accidentally scooped up some dogs, partially crushed them, and spat them back out. It was all very bloody and sad but some people were happy because it killed the dog that kept attacking cats and mail carriers.

I was in downtown Fort Collins, which looked more like New York City. I went into a store, but didn’t see anything good. As I was trying to leave, two men who ran the store decided to give me a free bed. Somehow that proved to them that I hadn’t stolen anything. Then I found myself in some kind of opening ceremony exhibition at a large fashion school. There were thousands of student models, male and female, in a sort of catwalk that spiraled and spanned several floors. Afterward we all sat in rows as the teachers gave their formal introduction. Then Kristin and I explored the dormitories. We saw Kelly but then she went for a quick walk outside and discussed something important with some emo kid. She came back inside and started walking around talking on her phone. Then I went to the tenth floor with the black guy from my psychology class so we could see where she was going. We watched and to our surprise she turned into a penny. I ran to the nearest elevator and almost closed it on the other guy but then changed my mind. It was probably the fastest elevator ever. I picked up the penny and one near it just in case. Then I saw Ross and a CS nerd and we discussed Java and C++. then the CS guy showed me a video of Greg on his camcorder.

I told everyone that Between the Buried and Me was going to play at CSU and it was true except Hayley Williams of Paramore was filling in for Tommy Rogers. After they played in front of the Clark Building I kissed her on each cheek and then ran off because I was late for class and I became even more late because I kept forgetting my books. The school had very complex architecture.