Celebrities

I was in the employees only room at Wilbur’s Total Beverage and the ice maker was full of orange rotten ice because I hadn’t been there in a very long time. John Rzeznik showed up and said I did a good job imitating Goo Goo Dolls on a CD he found on the floor. I took the highway home but traffic wasn’t very good because it was raining and snowing. My mom’s car was behind mine in a traffic jam. We got out of our cars and decided to walk the rest of the way home. We saw Abby studying in an empty outdoor restaurant. She must have been there because school had been cancelled due to weather. The weather cleared up and Carly was gardening; she lived across the street from us. Both of our yards had large stones with the same engraved symbol. The door to my room was locked. A strange girl opened the door and she was in the middle of recording her webcam series. I joined her and introduced myself as Andrew Champion, Toyota employee. She was doing a lot silly things on her show, like putting paint in her hair. We couldn’t stop giggling the entire time.

I was at a club with my mom and Miley Cyrus was MC. Miley was passing out Lady Gaga rings that looked like small versions of the ring from Mars Attacks! Then my mom and I decided to go outside where they were setting up life-sized working movie props e.g. spider‑like Martian craft.

I gave birth to a poodle and then I went to a picnic and poured myself a glass of rosé and Teena showed up so I went looking for a matching glass for her but she didn’t drink any because she was too tired. Then I went to the same hot springs that I had met Mistah F.A.B. at once and there was a Celtic lady following me around. Then I went to a Weezer concert at the Pepsi Center and I started giving candy bars to random people and you could pay $4500 to have a room in the Pepsi Center demolished.

Alysse asked me to a dance but the crowd she usually hung out with was plotting against Pete Wentz who was scheduled to perform. We found the black slimy aliens they were going to use to kill him but we destroyed them before they were able to attach themselves to their lower halves.

I was playing BloodRayne 4 with Cole and there was this one move that I kept using where I grabbed his avatar’s tongue, threw her up in the air, spun her around, and slammed her back down to the ground. There was one time when his avatar blocked my move with a weird metal arm in her mouth. Then she met a British guy named Ross who regretfully nicknamed her Julie and she told him she didn’t want to be a witch anymore. They found a nurse and Julie handed her some parchment with instructions that will cure someone of being a witch if followed exactly. The nurse did it blindfolded with help from Ross so she wouldn’t have to see anything that might disturb her. One part of the procedure caused Julie’s eyes to burn with a blue flame and when you zoomed in on them each eye was a burning field in which chickens and foxes and guys in suits were falling over and dying. Once everyone in the field was dead they (my classmates and I) got up and went back inside. All of the music in the game was written by Danny Elfman.