Movies

I was at a club with my mom and Miley Cyrus was MC. Miley was passing out Lady Gaga rings that looked like small versions of the ring from Mars Attacks! Then my mom and I decided to go outside where they were setting up life-sized working movie props e.g. spider‑like Martian craft.

Part One

Daniel, Greg, Scott, and Teena each had their own rooms at my dad’s house. Daniel complained about my dad’s behavior and played with Piglet dolls. Greg played games on his PSP, and Scott drank sparkling wine. Teena hid herself in her room most of the time.

Part Two

I watched a movie called Faith with Scott. It was about a ghost who gets impregnated by God. Every time the ghost sees a fountain she jumps in and lifts up her skirt.

Part Three

I was dining with a middle-aged man in a busy restaurant. I told him about the movie I watched, which greatly offended him. He carried me down the stairs and threw me out of the restaurant. There was an old phone attached to the side of the building so I used it to try and get a different table, this time with two strangers. They served me pink and yellow steak while I was standing at the bar.

My mom, Jane, Hannah, and I were sitting on the floor of a hallway in a strange hospital. My mom said this was the last time that I would ever see my youngest and most distant cousin who was singing “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” next to his brother and mother as I was being dragged away. Then, as I was carrying Hannah on my shoulders, Marie walked by. We were looking for my mom’s white Prius in the parking lot but there were multiple ones so we had to wait until some of the other cars left and we spotted it on one of the underground levels. The staff made us call a garbage company and wait in the dirt on the far end of the property as they removed a giant ladder. The wind was blowing sand in everyone’s ears and I started singing the bassline to “Miss Murder” to pass the time. The staff explained that this parking garage had been featured in a really bad movie called Sam Cooper. Instead of going back to the car with the others I found a talking cat and explored the empty garage which we found to be seven stories (or eight including the glass panel roof) but there was a creepy old man walking around on the outside of the roof so I ducked down on the ground.

There was an evil lemur in my backyard so I tried to catch it in a pet carrier which was hard because it could jump like eight feet from the tree to the roof and back again. Then a bunch of other people caught what looked like giant gray animal-blood sucking naked men and I found out that the thing in my backyard was a young version of those. They had also caught smaller giants that were more adult male looking who kept asking to be set free. The whole thing was like Brotherhood of the Wolf except with giant versions of the monsters in The Descent.

My dad and I were going to Target looking for sports stuff. We went inside but it was really a grocery store. There were many people from school shopping with their parents. I soon discovered that I worked there along with many other students and that a party was being held in our honor. Our very skinny teachers in their bizarre outfits made us wait in line for food. While in line the setting changed into a nighttime hot springs resort. Adjacent to the nearest pool was a fiery rectangular hole in the ground that talked and demanded road kill for food. People kept stuffing furniture in it but that didn't do anything. The hole discovered that one woman in the pool had received a skin transplant, it said she wouldn't be harmed if she crawled inside. She went inside and found herself in a virtual casino. The fiery hole had turned into a giant chameleon and said that this virtual casino was an exact replica of the one in Die Hard and that there are only two ways out: win, or die. Then the room transformed into a dark jungle room and I found myself watching a movie with my dad, step mom, and grandmother but my grandmother was really a small orange monkey and we started naming various television cops.