I was singing Slipknot’s “Duality” while looking for my Jeep in the parking lot at my elementary school. I came across a secret installation where men were experimenting on aliens. I got in trouble for unlocking five doors. Their plan was to extract me from the building through a skylight using telescoping rods. I was hanging from a rod when they decided to frame me for something else by changing my eye color from brown to bright green. I prevented them from doing so by spraying the pouch of green liquid on their faces and on their machines. This gave me a chance to rescue a young female alien, but she, unfortunately, did not wake up.

Teena and I were on a boat that was having an Oktoberfest. A enormous blind frog attacked the boat at night. The boat split in half and washed up on the shore. I found a flashlight and batteries in one of the rooms. I found Teena the next day somewhere in northwestern Colorado. We saw brown, red, and white sasquatches on our way to Steamboat Springs.

I was walking down a large flight of stairs at my high school. Shira was walking in front of me. An Italian version of “The Star‑Spangled Banner” came over the loudspeakers. The cafeteria was set up for everyone to play poker. I tried to leave because I didn’t want to play. I was placed in a holding cell with Lieutenant Jim Dangle. He was wearing a green uniform. Someone set us free even though he wasn’t supposed to. I went outside and saw a bear in the dark parking lot.

We arrived at the cabin around dinner time. I spotted small gravestones for two men named John Champion, but I don’t think they were related to me. We went inside and I saw a bear on the other side of the window. No one believed me until it came inside. The bear was the same height as our standard poodle. It chewed on the poodle’s snout until I distracted it by throwing my chicken sandwich outside. We sat at the table for dessert. We each had our own shortcake; none of us had toppings. I ate a quarter of mine. I continued to sit at the table while some guy drew a picture of me. He was very talented.

I was having my graduation party at my grandparents’ house. I asked if orcs were a certain type of mutant. Then I went outside and tried to start my new Jeep, but it had the same ignition problems as my old one. There must have been 50 people in the front yard. Teena and Mackenzie were trying to ignore me. I was able to find out that Mackenzie was living in Seattle and was just visiting for a short time. Everyone climbed onto a large playground; I was surprised it didn’t collapse. There was a fat guy in front of me who kept getting stuck on the slides. I couldn’t fit in a tube called Perihelion Vortex Dance because my shoulders were too broad.